Vulva Vulva Vulva
There, we made you say it, 3 times. It’s not that hard, is it? Or did you cringe when you read it? Are you retreating away from the rest of this piece because the word makes you want to bring up a little bit of vom in your mouth? Well, don’t. Keep reading.
Let's clear up the vagina vs. vulva debate once and for all!
The word is a word. It's also a part of the female body, which is beautiful. And we are also causing huge damage to a future generation by misinforming them about vulvas and making them think it’s a shameful word. It’s not. It’s a word. Why aren't we just normalising the conversation? Why isn't this part of sex education?
(Can you tell we feel strongly about this topic?)
Say it again. Vulva vulva vulva.
Why is it that it’s fine to say vagina and not vulva? It blows our sexually fired-up minds that so many people believe that vulva is just colloquialism that we use the word vagina for everything.
They are different body parts!
Does it really matter which word you use? Look we get that there is an argument to be made for using vagina colloquially, we get that perhaps vulva is a thing of the past. But hang on, let's not digress. Does it matter what word we use? We think a resounding 'Yes'!
What's The Difference Between 'Vagina' And 'Vulva'? Let Us Explain.
The vagina is clearly the word of choice when describing female genitalia. However, vulva is the correct word for all the external genitalia parts by which we mean the labia majora (outer lips where the hair grows) and labia minora (inside the outer labia and feels softer, wet, flexible and hairless), the mons pubis (pubic bone), the well-known clitoris (full of an estimated 8000 nerve endings), and the external opening of the urethra (pee hole), and the vagina itself.
So even before attaching a sexual connotation to it, it’s fairly important where body parts are concerned. It's somewhat incredible that a word that really is just a word describing external parts of the body has encountered so much censorship.
What is my Vagina Then?
Good question. It’s the muscular canal that connects the uterus to the vulva nestled inside the labia. It is self-lubricating when sexually aroused and can also double in size when penetrated. Sex toys feel totally at home in your vagina as do fingers and penis. Also referred to as the vaginal canal. Babies exit out of it (hopefully smoothly), as does your menstrual blood.
The infamous G-Spot sits inside the vagina. For some, if hit, this is an incredibly sensitive area that can lead to a lot of pleasure. For others? Well they'd argue it doesn't actually exist and that when the spongy bit inside your vagina is massaged, it isn't the G-Spot, you're just stimulating the need to pee (and often fluid will squirt out as a result). The raging debate is whether women can squirt when the G-Spot is massaged or they're merely peeing. We’ll address this in a whole other blog dedicated just to squirting.
And How Many Holes Are There?
3 to be precise. The urethra, the vagina, and the anus. Pee comes out of your urethra and sits between the vaginal opening and clitoris head. The vagina is a little further back between the urethra and the anus. The anus requires little explanation but for consistency, it's the furthest back hole.
Does The Vulval Anatomy Really Matter?
There’s a good argument to be made for using the correct terminology when it comes to sexual health and a woman’s personal authority over her body. If we’re not using the correct words can we really make sense of what we feel and know?
Surely kids should be able to label their body parts correctly too? All this ‘foo foo’ and ‘tinkle’ chat is all well and good but it’s damaging. There really are no ‘kiddie’ words for vulva so we go one step further, fluff over it, and wrap it into whatever phrase we’ve decided to use to stem our own blushes. Even if you consider yourself bold and you’re using the word ‘vagina’ you’re misleading them.
The female body has a vulva. It contains the clitoris, labia, urethra, and vagina. It’s the whole shebang.
“That’s called your vulva”.
We dare you. Say it. Keep saying it. The bit where you want to scrub out your mouth with soap will eventually pass and it’ll roll off the tongue.
If you can say Volvo you can say vulva.
Does Terminology Affect our Sexual Pleasure?
There is an argument to be made that yes, using the wrong words can have an effect on our sexual satisfaction. In throwing all the female anatomy under one roof called 'vagina', we're labeling our sexual organs and the parts that give heterosexual men the most pleasure.
Many allude to the fact that in order to orgasm and be sexually aroused, they need the stimulation of the clitoris. This can often be lacking for some during sexual activity. If the words are wrong, if we're referring to something that gives us pleasure (the vulva not the vagina), at a subconscious level, this may play a part in lessening the experience and being able to be pleasured.
Others would of course argue it makes no difference. It's about learning how to pleasure, learning where the nerve endings are, whether to stroke the outer lips, inner lips, any lips, and that using 'words' removes the mystery and creativity.
Perhaps. You can see it from both sides.
So Is It Ok to Stick With The Term Vagina Over Vulva?
Considering most are afraid to even say the word 'vagina' we'd say it's fine to say either as long as you're saying them loud and proud. When most of us use 'cute' words to cover the blushing or teach our kids to say words such as 'tinkle' and 'foofoo' there is clearly a bigger problem at play than the word itself.
When we're clearly not comfortable with what's 'down there' let alone what it's called then the issue that needs addressing isn't the sexual term but more sexuality as a whole. But that's a whole other blog right there.
So how about we start with just being comfortable with saying the word 'vagina'. Then we could move on to 'vulva' and disassociate between them both.
There's a certain feeling of power and freedom in saying the word 'vagina' with a straight face. Even writing this piece has moved me through a journey of feeling a little flustered to totally at ease. I might even drop the 'v' word into the conversation at the school gate today. Ok, maybe a little far-fetched.
'Vagina' feels like a strong word. Personally I have fallen foul to the 'cute' words with my children and in writing this, it's something I want to change and acknowledge I need to rectify. I feel empowered to educate. Empowered to remove the embarrassment around the words. After all, they are yet another part of the incredible bodies we all possess.
In being totally literal, my vulva and vagina were instrumental in creating and delivering my children. And that alone is a reason to talk about them proudly and impart their 'roles' to not just my children but anyone who will listen.
And we’ll leave you with this tweet from a fellow vulva fan.
“Telling your daughter her vulva is her vagina is like telling your son he has testicles and no penis and then just calling his penis his testicles cos you think saying penis as well is too much. It’s just a word. Vulva. Hard for me to say too, but that’s cos of history. Say it”.
